Count Fishula

Two lone fishermen were tied off at the dam on a quiet Sunday night.  The wheels had been turned off and they cast their rods out hoping for good fortune as the moon brightly filled the star draped sky.  As one of the fishermen got his first nibble of the night, he knew that he had hooked a real keeper as he fought this fish with everything in him.  The battle drug on and his best friend cheered him on, thinking this was definitely one prize winning fish.

As the fish finally became visible it was shocking to discover that looked like it would weigh in at only ten pounds.  Grabbing a net, one of the men scooped up the fish and shivered as he noted how the creature gazed back at him with a fishy smirk on it’s scaly face.  “Where’d you get that moonshine Homer”, the man with the net asked thinking he must be having some major delusions.  “Same place I always get it Bubba,” shaking his head wondering if their supplier had messed them over.

The fish opened up its mouth and laughed manically, “I am Count Fishula and you boys are going to be my dinner.”  Homer and Bubba stared at each other and began laughing hysterically.  “We’ve done been smoking too much funny weed”, Homer said as he began to take the hook out of the fish mouth. 

The fish shook his head at the two ignorant fishermen and sank his elongated fangs into Homer’s hand drinking deeply.  “Nothing I like more than two rednecks dumb enough not to listen to a fish when it talks,” Count Fishula licked his lips as he finished.  “Holy crap Bubba I think I done been fanged,” Homer looked at the vampire fish thinking this thing was some devil fish. 

“Be glad I’m not going to fry you up like you’d done to dozens of my brothers and sisters,” Count Fishula replied with a laugh.  Count Fishula jumped back into the Coosa River and swam away determined to turn the rest of the fish in the water by sunrise.  It was time for evolution and fish would now be the rulers of the sea.